So I am fat..I know it, you don’t need to tell me!

Like many people out there I am overweight. Ok I wish I was just overweight, I am obese. I have started and stopped so many diets over the past decade or so that I can’t even remember how I got here or why I am still here.

I had plenty of moments along the way to this point that you would think would have woken me up. I remember when I first started putting on weight my dad called me on it and warned me how hard it would be to get control of it once I gained to much. Did I listen? Obviously not or I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

I have had cruel things yelled at me by drivers on the road as if somehow my weight affects their bad driving.  One of my favorite moments was my maid of honor telling me how pretty I would be if I could just lose some weight, at my bachelorette party. Way to make a bride feel good about herself. Why is it people fell it is ok to say things like that to us? Do they think the fat has buried our feelings so much that things like that won’t hurt???

There isn’t a day that goes by where I am not embarrassed by my weight. I want to change it, I really do, it is just so freakin hard! 

I have a coworker who was a little heavy, the kind of heavy I dream of being. One day she just decided she was going to be healthier/skinnier and she did it. Just.like.that. I am in awe of her will power. It amazes me that she could just flip that switch. I keep searching myself for that willpower and every time I think I found it it disappears after a couple weeks. Why does my damn switch have to be broken? How do I get it fixed?

So I of course keep trying different things. No soda, no carbs, no sugar, no, no, no, no, no…

It never lasts. 

How can I be so unhappy with myself and yet be so unable to fix it?? I just don’t understand. I have the best motivation in the world, two amazing healthy, athletic kids. I know my weight keeps me from enjoying things with them and I of course know it could lead to health issues that could take me from them. That alone should have fixed my broken switch. Well they are now 7 and almost 9 and I am still fat so there is that answer. 

Around last Christmas a lot of the moms on my sons baseball team started getting on the Fitbit craze. It interested me but I kept quiet because they were all so fit and I couldn’t see how it could apply to me if they used it.

After months of eyeing it I bought one for myself as a Mother’s Day gift. 10,000 steps, I must hit that without much effort- right? Wrong! I wore it the first week and was honestly surprised when I only averaged about 6,000 steps a day.

One week later,May 15th- I decided to get serious. This Fitbit has really made me realize how little I move! I put in some extra work that day and walked 18k steps.  It didn’t kill me so I decided to push myself for more. I got my average steps for that week up to 15,000!

So week one- averaged 6,000 steps and week two- 15,000. Pretty proud of myself.

Week 3- I keep working at it and increase my average to 17,000 steps! Woohoo!

Ok but now we are at that dreaded 2-3 week point, am I going to stick with it? So far, yes!

Today is day one of week 4 and I am over 21,000 steps today! 

I feel good and because I am working so hard at it I find myself making healthier choices. I am a fat girl so there is no quick jog for several thousand steps. I have to walk, A LOT, to get these steps. It takes a long time. I am not wasting all that work in 15 minutes for eating fast food!

So I decided to start a blog about my journey, because there is going to be a journey. I am fixing that switch!  I am going to go from fat to fit! 

 Oh am I almost forgot, I am down 6lbs since the 15th. It can’t come off quick enough but at least I am starting…welcome to my journey!